How Cell Phones and Social Media Outlets are Negatively Affecting Our Youth

After reading chapters nine and ten of Sherry Turkle's new book "Alone Together," published in January 2011, I can't say I'm surprised by her findings, but more so worried of the impact internet, specifically social media, and cell phones are having on young people growing up in today's society. Turkle profiles one girl who is a senior in high school as she describes her feelings about Facebook friends and either confirming or ignoring them.

I always feel a bit of panic...Who should I friend?...I really want to only have my cool friends listed, but I'm nice to a lot of other kids at school. So I include the more unpopular ones, but then I'm unhappy.

Right off the bat, I scoffed at this girl's comment. How could someone only a few years younger than myself take the idea of a Facebook friend so seriously? I wanted to shake this girl and yell at her, NO ONE CARES. I could see a thirteen year old girl, naive and completely obsessed with looking popular, sharing this view but not an eighteen year old, presumably about to enter college. The fact that she actually views a Facebook friend as a reflection of friends in real life, whom she interacts with face-to-face, is quite honestly pathetic. Her comment shows how superficial young people can be when they interact via social networking sites like Facebook. For this girl, she only wanted to be "friends" with the cool people, and here, friends is in quotes because she may not talk to these people face-to-face and only interact in a mediated environment. But for others, and Turkle discusses this in her book, it's all about the information they put on their profiles like favorite bands or activities that reveals the sheer superficiality of Facebook for many young people.

Turkle then goes on to discuss the role of telephone calls, or lack thereof, in the lives of young people. It's no surprise that in her interviews, many of the teens she profiled consistently commented that they wholly dislike making or receiving phone calls and would much rather interact via instant messaging or text messaging. While I do admit that phone calls can be rather time consuming, I would much rather talk to a friend or family member on the phone if the conversation needs to involve more than a quick question or two. In high school, I would talk to one of my friends on the phone nearly every night even after seeing each other at the school that day. I enjoyed talking to her and felt that by telling each other stories on the phone, we could interact on a level that texting or IM couldn't offer. We laughed together, fed off of each others comments, could determine each others moods by our voices. Basically, I saw our phone calls as the most sincere way to contact her and stay connected. And while we don't talk on the phone nearly as much as we used to since coming to college, it is still our preferred way to keep in touch with one another. And the same is true for my parents, sister, and a few other close friends who go to school in other states - we communicate via the telephone.

This same chapter is also largely devoted to Turkle's interview and analysis of Audrey, a sixteen year old junior in high school. Audrey is unhappy that her mother is constantly talking on her phone around her and fantasizes about her mother disconnected from her phone and paying attention to Audrey. Turkle states:

But Audrey is resigned that this is not to be and feels she must temper her criticism of her mother because of her own habit of texting when she is with her friends.

Audrey has come to terms with her mother's distracted behavior, justifying it because she herself knows that she is guilty of the same exact behavior. She admits to texting other people while she is with friends, which creates a paradoxical situation. Even though she is physically present with others, she is ultimately disconnecting herself from these friends to connect with other friends through a mediated communication device. This aspect of Turkle's argument resonated with me the most because I find the act of texting while with other people to be one of the most irritating experiences. Let me paint the picture. I have one friend who is constantly on her phone when she's with others. Say for example, we're out to dinner with some other friends as well. She has to have her phone sitting next to her on the table. She absolutely can't have it in her purse for fear of missing a text. So we're having a conversation and she looks down to see she has just received at text. Despite being deep in conversation, she picks up her phone and proceeds to respond, even though a question or comment has just been directed at her. In comes the long pause. We all wait for her to respond but instead she is busy typing away on her phone. When she puts her phone down and looks up, she almost always responds, "Wait what?" completely unaware of what was just said.

Despite being irritated by her behavior, I just roll my eyes, having ultimately come to terms with it because I know that even if I tell her it annoys me, she won't change. That's just how she is. And I'm not blaming her for it; I know that's how many people are these days, constantly connected on their phones and anxious about calls or texts when they are without it. I guess for me I just don't feel the need to always be on my phone, awaiting a text or call. This is partially due to the fact that my dad had a strict rule that we couldn't be on our phones when we were having family time, specifically dinners, and it's just stuck with me since. I think it's rude when others are on their phones when I'm having a conversation with them so I don't do it. It's as simple as that.